Who hosts?
Common etiquette says the maid or matron of honor or other close friend or relative of the bride hosts the bridal shower. There was a time when it was considered improper for the bride's mother or immediate relative to host the party - not anymore. These days, anyone can host the party (except the bride, of course) and most often it's a team effort among the bride's attendants and mother.

Who's invited?
The guest list is determined by the host and the bride (unless it is a surprise). The size is up to the host - just remember that the more people, the less intimate the party is. Definitely invite the bride and groom's close female relatives, the bridal party and the bride's close friends. Make sure everyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding.

When and where?
It's best to hold the shower two to three months in advance of the wedding - the bride will have made important decisions by then and it doesn't get mixed up with the busyness surrounding the wedding day.

Where to have the shower will depend on where the invitees and the bride live and what kind of a party you're planning. If you're asking guests to travel, make sure you give them plenty of advance notice of the date and time.

Party details
Planning the nuts and bolts of the shower is the best part. If you're stumped, here are a few ideas to inspire you:

• Pick a theme. The possibilities here are endless, and the theme can determine everything from the food you serve to the activities you plan to the gifts guests bring. Tailor your theme around the bride and her needs. Some ideas:
  • Kitchen and cooking (ask guests to bring a favorite recipe for the bride)
  • Bath and shower
  • Lingerie
  • Holidays
  • ABCs (assign guests a letter of the alphabet, their present must start with that letter)
  • "Around the clock" (assign guests an hour of the day, their gift must pertain to that hour)
  • Around the house (assign each guest a room of the house, their gift must be used in that room)
  • "Labor of love" (instead of gifts, guests bring promises to share their talents and skills, such as painting, gardening, etc.)
  • Host a vendor party, such as Pampered Chef, Partylite, Longaberger, Tupperware or one of the many others.

• Invite the guys. If you really want to turn tradition in its head, throw a couple's shower. Barbecues and cocktail parties are fun ways to celebrate the couple as a team.

• Go somewhere. Many hosts are deciding to take their party on the road for spa days or girls'-day-out activities like shopping or eating out.

• Go traditional. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a women-only party. The games are fun, the comraderie is uplifting, and it's nice to get the bride's family and friends together. Besides, these parties are also guaranteed to be fun for women of all ages, including the bride's grandmother.