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Etiquette 101: Choosing Attendants

062314-etiquette-attendantsA couple of weeks ago, we talked about money – the wedding conversation we all love to hate. Let’s discuss something more fun this week: Your bridal party!

As a general rule, the size of your bridal party is determined by the size and formality of your wedding. The larger the wedding, the larger the bridal party. A good rule of thumb is to have one attendant and usher per 50 guests.

Actually choosing your attendants can get tricky, especially if you have lots of friends and a large family. Once you’ve determined the size of your wedding party, use these guidelines for choosing who you’d like to stand with you:

  • Choose people you are close to now, not close friends with whom you’ve lost touch.
  • You don’t have to ask a friend to be your bridesmaid just because you were her bridesmaid.
  • In the spirit of building a new family, try to include the bride’s brothers as groomsmen and the groom’s sisters as bridesmaids, especially if your wedding party is large.
  • If you have two people who you’d like to be maid of honor, make them co-maids of honor. They will probably appreciate splitting the duties! (The same goes for best man.)
  • Consider how much you’ll be asking your friends to spend. If you have a close friend who might not be able to afford the attire and accessories, try to find another role for that person (as a reader, for example).

Ask your attendants to be part of your bridal party as soon as you can and fill them in on all the details you’ve nailed down to date. Keep them updated throughout the planning process with the dates and times of events they’ll need to attend, and let them know about lodging and wedding day transportation.